money decisions in your house?

In your case I’d say no way! It is clear that your husband is a control freak and has to be in charge… I would suggest that you have your own bank account if and when you start working….. if he wants to make an issue of that then simply tell him when he decides to have a JOINT account with you and lets you see where the money goes then you will consider pooling your resources.
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well if you can do it.. you should take care of all the bills then if theres anything left for fun money you guys can save it or split it. or you can tell him he will be in control of all the bills and money and see if he can keep things paid if not you could end up on the street and it be his fault. to me that coat was not important enough to get.. and the step father would know that you guys dont have that kinda money to spend so more then likely would of been happy with a card… you have to get him to put the family first and your well being or you might have to move on without him before he gets you so far down the debt road you cant get out.. good luck
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if it is that far out of control.. i suggest seperating ur bank account from his, splitting the bills.. and going from there..
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Honey, it may be hard, but you are going to have to take control. Grab ALL the bills and sit down with the hubby. Tell him this is where you are at, and figure out a game plan as to how to get yourselves out of that situation. Total the amount of your income after taxes (take home pay), subtract all your living expenses (rent, utilities, car payments, gas, etc), allow yourselves each $20 for the week for misc and the rest goes in the bank. Set one day aside for paying bills. Then on that day, grab all the bills and pay them together. Even if it’s $10, pay it on something that is past due or in collection.

It’s a small start, but it’s a start in the right direction and as the two of you see where the money is going and the bills get easier to manage, you can start setting goals to buy the things you want. Or, if you got really good at this, you can open savings accounts with the extra money. One for a fun expense (date night stuff), a vehicle expense account just in case something breaks down, a clothing expense, etc. (everyone’s choices are different) But this way, you don’t have to rob from Peter to pay Paul if something unexpected happens.

As for your clothing for the new job, I suggest Goodwill. Goodwill has come a long way in the retail industry. They have alot of great, designer clothes at really cheap prices. You’ll be surprised. Then just get your shoes and under garments at a regular store. You’ll save a fortune and it’ll do until you are making enough to get better.
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Mother of 5 who learned how to stretch a dollar a long time ago.

Your husband needs to know that his first priorities are his family….you and the kids, if you have kids. You come first before anyone. Your husband has made a bad decision by putting his father before you. He knew that you needed work clothes for your new job, but he ignored your needs and met his fathers needs instead. Even when there was no money, he still went and bought his father the jacket and even when you both already talked about what little money you both had! He did this behind your back, which was totally wrong.

You need to get to the bottom of this with your husband. He needs to stop spending money on things he doesn’t need and put that money to where important things are needed for the family. He needs to be honest with you to where he is spending the money. That is what marriage is all about, honesty and also being a team. If he is not honest with you or is not telling you the truth, then how is it that you can have a healthy marriage? If he wants to spend money, then he should seek a second job to have extra spending money.

Ask him this question. (Would you rather have us starve and be out on the streets? Or would you rather be comfortable to where you can spend money when you actually have it?) If so, then he needs to start wanting to support you like a real man should in a marriage. All the toys can come last. You are first on his list. He should know that already, he married you for a reason! He needs to take care of you and himself before anyone else.
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